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Not Great

Lyrics for Not Great

There are things that just aren’t great.
Like getting to your wedding late.
(Where’s rob?)

Or waking up with a sudden case of gout.
(just cut off my toe!)

But the thing that just ain’t great
The thing that I just really hate
Is when my contact lenses have run out.

Never run out
Never run out

It’s worse than a diaper packed with sauerkraut
(I’m gonna hurl!)

Can’t Stand

Lyrics for Can’t Stand

There are things that I can’t stand.
Like being in this washed up band.
(get off the stage!)

Or not knowing what life is all about.
(Why are we here?)

But the one thing I can’t stand.
The thing that’s really out of hand.
Is when my contact lenses have run out

Never run out
Never run out

It’s worse than being hit with a stinky trout.
(who throws a trout?)

Monster Truck

Lyrics for Monster Truck

There are lots of things that suck
Like being crushed by a monster truck.
(my spleen!)

Or being filled with crippling self doubt.
(I’ll never win.)

But of all the things that suck,
The thing that makes me say “oh (bleep)”
Is when my contact lenses have run out.

Never run out
Never run out

“It’s worse than your new nose job looking like a snout”. (oink oink)